Dear Fun Police a.k.a Politically Correct Fuckers,
I am writing this break up letter to you today, because I need to tell you it’s over.
I have torn up my membership and severed all ties with your mates ‘maturity’ and ‘reasoning’ and given the finger to ‘tsk tsk’s, shouldve’s, could’ves and what if’s.
Now before you get all bitchy and whiny about the ‘incorrectness’ of breaking up with someone in a public space let me first say, fuck you it’s my letter I can do what I want.
I’m throwing down the guantlet and SHITS GETTIN’ REAL!
For years I have walked in your shoes, watching what I said, did, thought and you know what
my life started sucking and continued to suck. And yes, it’s ALL totally your fault!
Before you came into my life I was free. I said what I wanted, felt what I wanted, dressed how I wanted and never gave a shit if anyone thought it was weird, strange, unprofessional.
And then you came into my life whispering insidiously ‘if you were normal you would be happier’. And I believed you.
And bit by bit, you chipped away at who I was until I became who you wanted me to be.
And I can’t take it anymore.
You have totally ruined who I was and who I KNEW I was all at the same time.
I sat last night in the dark, again not able to sleep, trying to churn out your ‘should have’ speeches and it dawned on me.
What happened to the girl who LOVED life and her smile would light up a room?
What happened to the girl who would just say LET’S DO IT! whenever a friend suggested something outrageous?
More to the point, what happened to the girl who was THE ONE to suggest it in the first place?
Living with you these past years, I forgot how to have fun. I forgot how good it is to lay in the sun and make patterns with clouds. I forgot how good it feels to have 4 hour long bubble baths, singing at the top of my voice. I forgot how free I feel when I get in a car and drive for hours just to hug a friend.
Instead I listened to you nagging at me to try and join the ‘popular’
blogger kids. Life is a HUGE playground and you have had me stuck in detention for waaaay to fucking long.
So yes, I am saying, it’s not me, it’s totally you!
You have sucked the fun out of my life. And I want it back!
In my teenage years you tried to worm your way into my life using someone else to tell me my ‘laugh was too loud’ (seriously.. who the fuck says that to someone??) and it worked for a week or two, until I released that there was sooooooooo much in life to laugh at.
Then in my thirties you were back, again using someone else to tell me that I would never be back to my original fitness because I was older now, and women ‘my age’ just didn’t have that kind of body (while them themselves were scoffing down on their second hamburger).
The scary thing is, I can’t remember the day we got together. But it seems you have been hanging around and ruining fun for more years than I can count.
I don’t care what you say to me anymore. I am not your confident. I can’t love myself and have you near me.
So it’s over.
bags baggage has been thrown out. The locks you have placed around my heart and freedom have been destroyed.
It’s no good trying to reason with me, because I have worked it out, reasoning = fun sucking, and that just doesn’t work for me anymore.
And NO we can’t be friends.
Don’t contact me again.
p.s. if you see cupid let him know he’s letters next!
Nicole Suzanne Brown lived in sunny Queensland all her life until moving to a very small cold country town of New South Wales, and still is confused by the choice to this day. Small in stature but big in personality, she has lived in New York, the United Kingdom, spent time in an Indian Ashram and gets itchy feet every time she glances at her Passport.
She is the CEO of both Spiritual Wisdom Magazine an online publishing resource for spiritual authors and Spiritual Wisdom Publishing, a soon to be released publishing company for independent authors to print & sell their products. She is the Author of Passing through Time – conversations with the other side, Crystal Candle Products, Gentle & Daily Reminders, and the soon to be released Fictions: Pride, Phoenix, Slumber & the upcoming Spiritual Childhood Series. When not writing you can find her contemplating her navel, somewhere, in some part of the world.